he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Floor bacon is actually really good
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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