Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
