OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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