So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
