google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
