I heard we made out
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize