I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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