You're my little dorito
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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