no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
