So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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