in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
