I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
