Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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