Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
