a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
