Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it glows. i had to have it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
