Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
