It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
