We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize