I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
