How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
