I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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