32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
