I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
