I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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