I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
