the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
