This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
false alarm, still single
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
