Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
