Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
