We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I AM VODKA MAN
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
