she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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