i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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