How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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