do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
