she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
