You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
