K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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