I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
