you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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