Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
