I'm drive I can fine osifer
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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