At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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