do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
