I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
