what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize