This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
