So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
