The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
