yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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