your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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