Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
