Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
