1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the night ended with taco bell and tears
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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