2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
