hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
