You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
