We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
