I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
