isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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